Week 7 Story: Monkeying Around

My Favorite Customer: Image

My name is Michael, and I'm banana salesman. It's about as interesting as it sounds, but it's honest work that pays the bills. Honestly, I think I would've been out of a job a long time ago if it wasn't for Sonny. I've known Sonny for around 6 years now, and he's far and away my best customer. He stops by every Thursday and clears out my entire stock every time. I have no idea how the guy is able to eat that many bananas, but you won't find me complaining.

He's also just a good guy to hang around with too. Sure, he's kind of short, hairy, and a bit smelly, but so is Danny DeVito, and that guy's a famous actor. I don't really like to judge people too much. Sonny can hold a good conversation, and he's always got some good jokes ready to go every time he visits. Last Thursday, however, things got a bit weird at the banana booth.

Sonny came by in the afternoon, as usual, wearing that same outfit that he always wears: a simple shirt and work pants which smell oddly like fish.

"Hey there, Sonny!" I called out to him. "You want the usual today?"

"Yeah, that'd be great, Mike," he answered. "Hey, you mind if I grab one of these before you load them up?"

I motioned to the spread of banana bunches in front of me. "Not at all, buddy, pick out your favorite."

"Thanks a lot, Mike," Sonny said, reaching out a plucking a single banana. "So, how's the family been, Mike? Your wife still doing alri-"

Before I could react, someone had tackled Sonny. I jumped up from behind the booth to see what was going on, and saw Frank, the town fisherman, wrestling Sonny to the ground.

"Frank, what the hell are you doing?" I yelled. "Get off of him, man!"

Frank scrambled up to his feet, his face red and seething with rage. "I've been looking for this monkey for years now! He broke into my house, beat me unconscious and stole my clothes! He's still wearing them right now!"

I was dumbfounded. "Frank, that might be the most offensive thing I've ever heard! You can't be going around calling people monkeys, man! Sonny can't help what he looks like, and he wouldn't hurt a fly, let alone steal someone's clothes!"

"Michael, are you kidding me?!?" Frank yelled. "That's literally a monkey standing right in front of you!"

"You've got a lot of nerve, man," Sonny growled under his breath.

"I agree!" I said. "How could he be a monkey? He's speaking English right now!"

"What the hell are you talking about?" Frank said, hysterical. "He's just hooting and screeching right now!"

"Frank, you just tackled my best customer and ruined the banana he just bought!" I said.

"Oh come on, Michael," Frank answered. "It's one banana, what could it cost? $10?"

Sonny and I looked at each other, confused. "Frank, have you ever bought a banana in your life?"

"That's not the point!" Frank screamed. "He's a damn monkey and I want my clothes back!"

I knew that I had to put my foot down. "You better get out of here and stop harassing my customers, Frank, or I'm gonna call the cops!"

Frank threw his hands up and scoffed. "This is ridiculous! But, whatever, I'll leave. Animal control's gonna be all over place when I call them anyway!"

Frank stormed off, muttering to himself as he went. I walked around the front of the booth and helped Sonny to his feet. 

"I'm so sorry about that Sonny," I said. "I have no idea what got into Frank, he's normally so mild-mannered. I'll let the cops know about this. You won't have to worry about this anymore, I swear."

"Ah, that's alright Mike, it's not your fault," Sonny replied. "I'll think I'll just take my order and go, that was pretty exhausting."

"Yeah, I hear you," I said. "Let me load that up for you."

After loading up his banana box, Sonny paid for it all (with a generous tip) and was on his way. I'm pretty sure I saw him swing off of a light pole when he turned the corner. I never knew he was that acrobatic! How could someone be so rude to a guy like that? I tell you, some people have no manners these days.

Author's Note: This story was based on the "Great Sea" passage of the Monkey King unit about Sun Wu Kung. In it, Sun Wu Kung finds a fisherman after sailing to Asia to find magical knowledge, and knocks him out and steals his clothes. He then impersonates a human and lives among people for 9 years, completely undetected. Sonny represents Sun Wu Kung, and I thought it would be funny to tell the story from the perspective of an unreliable narrator that is completely ignorant of all the clues of "Sonny's" true nature. The story was told in a more modern context to make it a bit more understandable.

Bibliography - "The Ape Sun Wu Kung" in The Chinese Fairy Book, ed. by R. Wilhelm and translated by Frederick H. Martens (1921).