Brett's Blog

Traditional Inuit clothing: Image Atdlarneq was a great hunter, and a strong man. It was said he could run in the snow for great distances and never get tired, and row his kayak for days without stopping. He had no equal in athletic strength in his village, though Atdlarneq could never be satisfied. He would hunt seal all day because he couldn't bear to go home with just one. His fellow villagers would scold him for his overzealous habits, pleading with him to leave seal for the rest of the village, but Atdlarneq would not listen. One day, while rowing his kayak, Atdlarneq noticed a small island off to the South that he had never seen before. He rowed closer and found a small house situated on the island. He sat in his kayak, observing the house and waiting for someone to come out, until finally, 3 women with yellow bands in their hair came out from the house. Atdlarneq went to shore to greet them. The women accepted Atdlarneq inside and showed him great hospitality, all...

The only things they're hungry for are donuts...and justice: Image Source: Hot Fuzz Detectives Johnson and Hadley swung open the doors to the precinct, shades still on, their uniforms still covered in the dirt and grime from their recent firefight with Pablo Escobar's clone only hours before. They're met with raucous applause from their coworkers, many of whom come forward to shake hands with the superstar detectives. The chief of the precinct steps forward, a manila envelope tucked under his arm. "Detectives," the chief says with a smile. "Good work on that Escobar case. You two can be a pain in my ass, but you're still two of the finest damn cops I've ever seen." "All a part of the job, sir," Johnson replies. "Gotta show the bad guys that they can't run from the law." The chief's smile leaves his face. "You're right, but I'm afraid that part of the job isn't over yet. I've got...

My Favorite Customer: Image My name is Michael, and I'm banana salesman. It's about as interesting as it sounds, but it's honest work that pays the bills. Honestly, I think I would've been out of a job a long time ago if it wasn't for Sonny. I've known Sonny for around 6 years now, and he's far and away my best customer. He stops by every Thursday and clears out my entire stock every time. I have no idea how the guy is able to eat that many bananas, but you won't find me complaining. He's also just a good guy to hang around with too. Sure, he's kind of short, hairy, and a bit smelly, but so is Danny DeVito, and that guy's a famous actor. I don't really like to judge people too much. Sonny can hold a good conversation, and he's always got some good jokes ready to go every time he visits. Last Thursday, however, things got a bit weird at the banana booth. Sonny came by in the afternoon, as usual, wearing that same outfit...

Sindbad the Sailor :  Image He finishes off another drumstick, sauce dripping onto his plate, and discards the bone gently. As he wipes his mouth with an embroidered napkin, he looks me in the eyes with a steely gaze. "So," he asks. "Where would you like to begin?" Wait, let me back up a bit. Today is quite possibly the most important day of my career. I've been a reporter at the Baghdad Herald for 3 years now, and I've been searching constantly for a breakthrough that could get me out of this place. Local newspaper reporting is so incredibly dull, and I've got bigger dreams than writing articles about someone's cat being rescued from a tree. But today is the day that all of that changes, because I got an interview with Sindbad the Sailor. I'm honestly still in disbelief about it. I mean this guy is a living legend and has turned down interviews and biography offers from international news giants, but here he is agreeing to...

Perseus and Andromeda, by Frederic Leighton Dan had been the Dungeon Master for his friends' Dungeons and Dragons group for a while now, and he always looked forward to their sessions on Wednesday nights. Everyone had a good time, and they had created stories that would last a lifetime, one of which was the unfortunate story of Percy. Percy was an acquaintance who was also an avid D&D player. When his group disbanded for unknown reasons, Percy asked Dan if he could join his group. Dan allowed it, welcoming Percy to the group. Percy was insistent that he should be able to keep the same character that he had played in his former campaign. Dan, not knowing what he was agreeing to, let him keep his character. When Wednesday came and everyone sat down to play, Dan began to realize his mistake.  "Alright everyone," Dan began. "When we last left off, you all had made your way to the fields of the giant monster known as Atlas. A mountain looms in the dista...

Pygmalion, by Edward Burnes Jones: Image Pygmalion was the finest sculptor in the entire city of Paphos. The works he created astounded the city's other denizens, and he was paid very well for his art. Yet, despite all this, Pygmalion was not satisfied. The sculptor considered himself a romantic, yet he was unable to find love with any of the women of Paphos.  "I don't understand," Pygmalion would think to himself. "I'm such a nice guy! I buy all the girls wonderful gifts and tell them how beautiful they are. I watch them as they go about their day, so I can surprise them when they're feeling down. I even tell them about the wonderful life they could have as my wife, watching me work on my sculptures. But they still want nothing to do with me!" The sculptor lamented at his awful luck with love for a long while, until finally he came to a realization. "The problem isn't with me, it's with those dumb women!" Pygmalion c...